If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Farmville is her only friend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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