Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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