C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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