I feel great
I just peed on a car
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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