i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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