but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
