I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
