im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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