these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
