I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am midnight drunk by noon
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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