Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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