O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
