Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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