8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
