Ambien. No doubt about it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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