we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
