dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
