he told me I talked like a deaf person
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
