Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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