he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
