He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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