imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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