Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize