i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
