she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
