Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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