his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize