I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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