In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize