my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
