i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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