I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You smell like stripper and shame
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
