I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
