We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
