scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
