Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just pee around me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
