I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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