My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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