I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize