she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
