I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
