Where is the hickey?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
