yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
