You work out of a Hotel?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
