Where is the hickey?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
