So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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