Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
