I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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