Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
