dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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