i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who died my cat blue again?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
