they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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