If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
