omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
