5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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