He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
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