I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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