I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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