please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
