why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
