dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize