even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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