Can Purell be used as lube?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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